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The ghost – date 2 & 3

As I think back on how this date went, there were NO signs of how this story ends. Every moment of that first date went spectacularly.

Dates two and three come up quickly, one being more spontaneous then the next.

As we walked around the ballpark, during date one, he said that he wanted to see me again and asked when I was free that coming week. Before we left the game, we made plans to see each other that following Tuesday, so just three days later. It made me feel special that someone was already looking forward to seeing me again, and our date gave me something to look forward to.

When we were at the game on Saturday night, he had told me that he was so excited to meet me that he almost asked me out for a walk the night before our actual first date. So I thought it would be cute to ask him on Sunday if he wanted to meet up for a walk, since Tuesday felt so far away.

He had an AA meeting that night so a walk didn’t fit into the evening, however he did come over to my house for about a hour. Although, my intention was not to have him over so quickly – I was just excited to see him again.

The time we spent together that night was more physical than conversational. Let’s just say that we seemed to be compatible in numerous ways than just conversation.

At this point, we are still talking all day every day. From “good morning” to “good nights”, with the occasional mid-day check-in, “how’s your day”, if someone (normally me) didn’t respond within a few hours.

Our plan for Tuesday was to go get ice cream. However, as Tuesday rolled around – there was a good chance of storms in the evening. Due to the looming storms (which of course it didn’t rain that evening), and a long day at work, we decided to postpone the date until Wednesday.

After some alterations to the date, we settled on him coming over to my place again. We were going to order in food and watch Parks and Rec.

Although the date had many physical components to it, we also just laid on my couch and talked. We talked about our religious beliefs, his divorce, his daughter, my family, where I’d eventually like to move in the cities and so much more. He told me about how he has never introduced anyone to his daughter before and how his ex-wife has been dating someone for about three years.

By the end of the evening, he was laying with his head in my lap falling asleep as I was running my hand through his hair and down his back. It was a wonderful night in.

The next day, he send me one of the best text messages from a guy that I have ever received. He said “before we have sex again, I want to go out on an actual date again. I think we have a lot in common and I want to get to know you more”. I was OVER THE MOON with this text. It made me feel special. It made me feel like he valued me for who I was as a person and did not only want what I could offer physically. (which makes the story ending of “the ghost” just so much worse for me)

Following that date, he had his daughter from Thursday through that Sunday and I was supposed to go out of town Saturday through the next Tuesday. So we made plans to see each other on that Tuesday, the day I got back from my trip.

At the last minute my plans changed and I was no longer going out of town. When I told him, he responded by saying he was excited that he could see me sooner – so we bumped up our date to Monday.

We talked every day that weekend. He would send me snapchats of his daughter and him eating ice cream or at the zoo. We talk about how he let her watch too much TV and she turned into a bit of a brat. My point is, we talked all the time. They were two sided conversations, good conversations, both of us initiated, both of us responded.

Sunday evening we were chatting and had decided that we would go get ice cream and go for a walk on Monday. Me being the planner that I am narrowed down the choices to two locations and told him to pick. He told me that he was going to wait until Monday to pick, just because he knew I wanted to know so badly. I thought it was funny and cute that he did that. Like he was “playing” with me.

Monday was one of the first truly nice work days we had had in awhile and unfortunately due to the previous shitty weather his work project was very behind. Other than a good morning, we didn’t talk very much on Monday because the owner of his company was at the job site and they were working hard to try and made up some lost ground.

5pm rolled around I left work to go home – but he was still at work.

7pm rolled around and I turned on the Bachelorette – he was still at work.

Finally at 8:30 he texted me and said they were just leaving the job site. He asked if I would hate him if he cancelled. I responded by saying I would not hate him, as it wasn’t his fault – but was disappointed I wouldn’t be able to see him.

Later that night we decided on a date due-over… that coming Saturday. We were going to watch the Aquatennial fireworks over the Mississippi. I was elated. There is something about watching fireworks with a date that just screams romance to me.

Sadly, this date never happened. But more on that next time.

The ghost – first date pt 2

It was a scorcher outside the day of our first date, and of course our date was outside. So I sat in front of my for a solid half hour deciding what I wanted to wear…. I needed something cute, comfortable, cool AND most importantly something that would hide the inevitable sweat marks. I straightened my hair and put a bit more makeup on than normal – which really isn’t a lot as I am a mascara wearing girl only.

Alright, it was time to leave.

I was so excited as I got into my car and set the GPS (aka my phone) to a parking ramp near the arcade we were meeting at. The entire drive, all 15 minutes, I was smiling and imagining how the night was going to go.

Funny story, not related to the date – but related to the date. After I parked my car in an underground garage, I could not figure out how to get out onto the street. I was inside a building with glass, so I could see outside, but every door was locked. Took my nearly five minutes to find an actual door leading outside.

Anyways, back to the date.

We were meeting outside of the arcade, and I got there first. As I stood there waiting for him, I was constantly looking around me to see him coming. Butterflies occupied my stomach and my heart was racing a mile a minute. As I saw him walking towards me I was captivated by how handsome he was. Tall, tanned skin, big brown eyes, and dark brown hair with a bit of grey.

After an awkward hello and slight hug, we head inside. Our first move was to head up to the rooftop. To get to the rooftop, we had to go through a parking garage and up an elevator. There were nearly 10 people crammed into a small elevator with no AC on a mid-90 degree day. We made a quick round of the rooftop and decided to head back downstairs and try out some of the games.

As we got tokens, in the form of a little card you can load/reload, we joked about the money sucking machines and how his daughter would love anything from them no matter how dumb the prize was. We played pinball and had a fun back and forth about who was better – he kicked my ass.

About a hour before the game started we decided to walk to the ballpark.

After we got in the park, we walked numerous laps around the field, talking and getting to know each other. When we got too hot, we would escape into a baseball museum where there was AC.

Just before the game started we stopped to get drinks (soda/water) and a hot dog. Standing in line he looked down at me and said “you are so pretty”. My immediate reaction was to stand up on my tippy toes and kiss him. Our first kiss, only a hour after meeting each other and in the concession line. Honestly, it was perfect.

We sat down to watch the game on a grassy hill in the outfield and sat super close to each other. As the game went on, we talked and laughed. He put his arm around me, put his hand on my knee, and held my hand. Honestly it was wonderful. At one point he turned, looked at me and told me he wanted to kiss me again – but wanted to be appropriate around all the kids. I turned and pointed at my cheek, he got the hint and gave me a nice kiss on the cheek.

One of the deeper conversations this night was about our age difference, which is important in this story – but more so later on. You see, he is 37 and I am 27. I asked him if he could foresee any issue with this, his response was that men are always about 10 years behind their age in maturity – so we really are the same age. It made me laugh. I laughed a lot that night.

As the night went on, we talked about date #2 – he was the one to bring it up.

The baseball game was background noise to our conversation. I don’t remember who the Saints played, what the score was, or anything else that happened during the game. We were in our own world getting to know each other.

At the end of the night he walked me to my car.

Once we got to my car, he kissed me goodnight in a way that made me feel so desirable. We had a good teenage makeout session up against the wall next to my car… and in my car a bit more.

I was on cloud nine. Every moment of that date was better than I could have ever hoped.

This story is not over, but it is over for tonight.

The ghost – first date pt 1

Alright, where did I leave off. Right – I fell asleep around 1 am aftering talking to his man for hours via messaging.

After this first night of great conversation, we quickly got into a nice cadence of messaging back and forth. Similarly to statement I made yesterday, “I am an in bed and asleep by 10/10:30 pm kinda person, so when I stay up past midnight to talk to you – you better know it is something special”, if I message you during the work day – WOW YOU’RE A BIG DEAL. We messaged back and forth all day long and landed on the topic of our date, planned for the Saturday (it is Tuesday at this point).

Now, let me be perfectly transparent with you… I like plans. I like to make plans in advance for things – plans give me something to look forward to and be excited about. On the other side of this though, having plans in place leaves room to set expectations and to be disappointed if something doesn’t work out. This is just one of the many hazards of dating.

Excited that the conversation turned to our date, I began looking up things to do in the area. This particular individual was sober, so going to a bar for your standard Happy Hour or “drinks” was not an option. *

*Now, let me be clear about something related to my blog as a whole. I will not reveal personal stories about someone that could identify them. I will not share stories or make comments on portions of someone’s life that does not impact me – such as a sad story or a personal belief.

After doing some generic Google searches – “things to do this weekend in Minneapolis/St Paul” – I came across a Saints game. I love going to sporting events and I knew this person loved baseball, mainly the Twins… but Twins tickets are a bit too spendy for a first date. Immediately after I suggested the date idea he said he would buy the tickets within the next day or two.

I was genuinely excited to meet him. I knew we were going to have a great time – I was right.

Leading up to the date, we continued our conversation cadence. When the first one of woke up we’d message the other “good morning”. We’d check in with each other throughout the day with a casual “hope you’re having a good day”. Talk into the night until one of us, mostly me, would drift off and the other would respond with a “good night”.

On numerous occasions during the days leading up to our first date he told me how excited he was to go on a date with me and how excited he was to meet me. It was so wonderful to hear these comments and to know that someone was looking forward to spending time with you.

The day before our date he suggests that we meet at a close arcade so by the time we get to the game we are over the “awkwardness” of meeting an online date. I loved the idea and was getting more and more excited.

Finally, it was the day of our first date.

And this is where I will leave you today. Mainly because it is 10:30 pm and I would like to go to bed. But also because I know this post is a bit dry and I want to leave you with a good cliffhanger.

The ghost – beginning

Why did I decide to start a dating blog now? Great question, I am so glad you asked. Let me tell you a story, similar to the Lemony Snicket tales of a Series of Unfortunate events – this does not have a happy ending. Unless you like my blog, then I guess there is a bit of a happy ending.

Online dating is just how we do it these days. My mother tells me at least once or twice a week that “you (me) are not going to meet someone online, I (her) just know it”… Well, to be perfectly honest, I don’t how to not meet someone online. So I resort to Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and OKCupid.

I go through phases where I use them all regularly, use one or two, or maybe take a hiatus from them all *ahem, me right now – FUCK DATING*.

At the time this story takes place I had just logged onto my Bumble account from a month or two break from that app.

Casually swiping one night, left – left – left – left – right – right – right, I got a match.

The photo(s) – a dark haired handsome man wearing sunglasses, holding an adorable little girl wearing multi-colored sunglasses. As I scroll through his profile, I see photo after photo of him and this little girl – nearly all of which include ice cream. One of these photos he captioned that the only way he could get his daughter to pose with him, is to give her ice cream.

The first message – With Bumble, as you might know, girls/women have to message first. I craft up a short message admiring how much his daughter loves ice cream. It was a genuine admiration, as I also LOVE ice cream. *Note, ice cream will come up again later in this story*

The conversation – Almost instantly, he types a message back. We talk for hours that night via Bumble. I am a in bed and asleep by 10/10:30 pm kinda person, so when I stay up past midnight to talk to you – you better know it is something special. Our conversations carry easily and effortlessly. We chat about his daughter, work, personal interests and even move into the dreaded “what are you looking for” conversation.

After a while, I tell him an awkward dating story about a guy who showed up to a date with my phone number written on his hand. Yes this happened – Yes I will write about it in another blog. He so cleverly, asked “what exactly was the number written on his hand?”. Boom, he asked for my number.

As the night went on and the conversation continued, he stated that he wanted to take me out on a date. I responded in my spicy way and told him he was going to have to ask me first. After a few back and forths he finally asked me out. I was actually excited – normally I am fairly cynical about dates (I know, I know, that’s not good, I should be better, more positive, whatever). We ended up settling on the following Saturday for a date.

I passed out around 1 am- end scene.

We will pick back up with this story in the next blog (tomorrow or Wednesday). But let’s review a few things here.

  1. Good conversation/conversationalist from the start
  2. Covered numerous topics, induing “what are you looking for” – in case you were wondering we both said a relationship
  3. He appropriately and adorably capitalized on a story to ask for my number
  4. He asked me on a date and we picked a day

So far – he is a solid 8.5… Okay, I was thinking he was a 10 that night.

The Dater – Me

If I am going to put my dating life out there who knows how many people to read it, you might as well have the full story on who I am.

Since this is all about dating and online dating is life right now, let’s level set here for a moment.

I have been on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Match, eHarmony, Coffee Meets Bagel, and OKCupid. I have paid for dating services – Match and eHarmony. I have used the free shit – Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, CMB, and OKC. Out of all of these, I have had similar experiences.

Side Note: This is not a blog to compare platforms or to provide my opinion on which ones I like best/least.

Out of the current dating apps I am on, OKCupid has the most room for you to write about yourself. Therefore, I am going to copy and paste my OKCupid Dating profile below. This way you know exactly what I am putting out there into the ether.

About Me

Hi there, I’m Jenna.

Here are some words that describe me:

Funny – in an I laugh at my own jokes kind of way. It’s also a corny, dad joke, knee slapping, snorting and trying way to hard kind of way. Life can be stressful, and to me laughing is a way to relieve at least some of the stress.

Ambitious – continuing to grow and better myself personally and professionally is so incredibly important to me. If I don’t have something to work towards, I feel restless. Currently I am pursuing my MBA through the Carlson School of Management at the U. It is an amazing program, I’ve learned so much and have met so many incredible people.

Loyal – be that with friends, family, or a romantic relationship. Strong relationships are built on loyalty, and loyalty to me is a combination of trust, mutual respect and love.

Things I like to do:

Honestly, it depends on the season… aka the temperature outside.

Warmer months – I like to be outside when possible. Going to sporting events, fishing, sitting by a pool, art fairs, rooftop bars/restaurants, bonfires, camping, and just about anything else that gets me outside.

Colder months – explore new indoor bars and restaurants, binging new TV shows and watching movies, and anything else that involves staying warm.

What I’m doing on OKC:

My life is very routine, I wake up, go to work, go home, go to class, hangout and interact with the same people, and not a lot else. This routine doesn’t leave much room to meet someone.

I’m looking for something that is more than casual, but I am not looking to rush things. I want a relationship that will grow into something real and long lasting.

Thank you for reading and taking a few minutes to virtually “get to know” me.

You should message me if:

  • You laughed at my bad jokes/dry puns
  • You actually read this
  • You’re past the hook-up phase of your life

Okay – that’s my OKC dating profile for your entertainment.

One last thing please note that this blog is based on my experiences of dating as a heterosexual, cis-gender female. I am well aware that my narrative may be very different from someone else’s. If you do not like my posts, or do not agree with my thoughts – then don’t read it.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy it! Also, I’d love to hear about your dating stories – they may get featured on my blog!

P.S. >> That’s me… the very strategically selected dating profile picture I use.